What's crack-a-lackin everyone? Loving every minute of my blessed life, so busy this week trying to complete the publishing of this book. It's soooo close, we're about to chance some lives and build some better relationships! That's exciting, and I praise Him for providing the opportunity to reach you with my words and my book.
This past week, I think I had a bit of a flashback moment. On a couple of different occasions, I was getting to know someone and somewhere along the line, something changed. Naturally, doing what I do to respond and help others, the first thing I do is look at myself. Did I say something? Did I do something wrong? Was I too pushy? Was I too nonchalant? Retrospectively, I don't think I was any of those things in either of these situations. Let me expound.
I once heard Bishop Jakes say you don't have to try to love anyone who doesn't love you. That was my flashback moment, as I racked my brain trying to figure out what I did wrong. Now, neither of these situations was anywhere NEAR that point. We weren't even dating. Just talking, keeping in touch, etc. The premise still rings true. Sometimes people change their minds or sometimes people are going through things or sometimes people realize whatever they expected isn't what they were receiving, so they move on. Real talk...it's not my problem. You know, I don't have to be pressed to relate to anyone or speak to anyone. If we are mutually interested in one another, then it's natural to keep the conversation going. If something changes, then instead of forcing the issue, or asking a bunch of questions that go above and beyond where I need to take it, move on.
Sometimes we get interested so quickly, when we catch one of these "curveballs" it throws us for such a loop we don't know what to do. Let me help you out...keep it moving! Even me...remember, this one happened to me! I'm having intriguing convo, spending time on the phone, and all of a sudden, something changes. The conversations stop, the emails end. You ask a few questions, sometimes you might get a quick response which is clearly "I don't want to be rude, but you're not getting it" response. People change and go through things. More often than not, this type of behavior has nothing to do with you and has everything to do with them. Do not let it get you twisted, keep it moving.
Even when you seem to have so much in common and everything is clicking, if they stop talking or something changes which is clearly abnormal behavior to what you have experienced before, especially in the early stages, give them plenty of space. The amazing thing about giving them space is quite often the same person works through whatever they are going through, appreciates you for understanding and becomes even closer to you. Regardless whether or not they come back, as Bishop Jakes said, you don't have to try to love anyone who doesn't love you. If you keep it moving, you will find someone who loves you more than you can imagine. Once you actually "get it," then you won't be able to keep the one who really loves you from finding their way to you.
Until next time, yall...One.
**When "9 Tenets" comes out, read the chapter on "Square Pegs/Round Holes" to get more understanding and have more discussion on this topic.